How Can I Encourage My Kids to Give, Not Just Get?
Imparting a sense of generosity in children may seem especially important at this time of year, when kids are so focused on acquiring new "stuff." Generosity, like most feelings, can't be forced. However, it can be demonstrated, encouraged, and rewarded. These tips can help foster a giving spirit in your child, all year-round.
- Encourage kids to give "gifts" of time and attention—by joining you to visit an elderly neighbor, calling a friend who is home sick, or helping you set the table, for example.
- Be enthusiastic about receiving your child's handmade gifts. Kids may not feel they have much to offer, so they need to know their creations are valued.
- Suggest to your child that he or she volunteer for an organization that helps others.
- Help kids learn how to consider the age, hobbies and abilities of the receiver when selecting gifts. Young children need guidance understanding that the tastes and interests of others may be different from their own.
- Enlist your child to donate used clothing or toys to the needy. However, be sure your child really, truly no longer wants his items. It's amazing how an abandoned toy suddenly takes on new value when someone else may like it. That's understandable, so don't force the issue.
- Praise acts of kindness. Let your child know how pleased you are when he shares with a sibling or shows empathy for a friend.
- Point out the generosity shown by others, and encourage your child to express appreciation. For instance, make your child aware that teachers or coaches contribute their time, effort, and energy to helping your child in meaningful ways.
Like a garden, generosity needs to be cultivated, but gently and carefully. Your attempt to instill generosity can backfire if kids feel forced to share or to give away things they treasure.
The ability to give develops over a lifetime. With your example and encouragement, your child will discover what many have learned before: Giving is its own reward.
For other parents' ideas for nurturing compassion, see the results of our poll "Do You Think That Empathy Can Be Taught?"