How Can I Help My Kids Develop Self-Confidence?
As much as we'd like to simply hand our kids a mantle of confidence, it just doesn't work that way. There's a reason self-confidence is called self-confidence, since it's based on one's own perceptions and not other people's. The latest research indicates that indiscriminately telling kids that they're "the greatest" doesn't build true confidence. Instead, children develop real confidence by learning that they can meet challenges, overcome difficulties, and build coping skills, one tiny milestone at a time. Our goal as parents is to help kids develop enough of a "can-do" attitude so that, no matter what lies ahead, they'll face the world with a sense of inner strength.
9 Ways to Help Your Kids Develop Self-Confidence
- Make sure your child has opportunities for success--where he can see with his own eyes how he's accomplished a specific task or met a challenge. Remember that kids like tangible results.
- Applaud your child for her efforts. Acknowledge her hard work and persistence in trying to reach her goals.
- Intervene when your child truly needs backup, but otherwise encourage him to tackle challenges on his own.
- Be available to brainstorm positive ways to deal with the disappointments, failures, and rejections that are an inevitable part of childhood.
- Accept your child's individuality. Avoid comparing her to other kids!
- Encourage your child to recognize his own unique strengths and use them well.
- Be a role model by taking on new tasks, speaking up, and demonstrating confidence through your own actions.
- Remind your child, again and again, that everyone makes mistakes. Self-confidence comes from learning what one can do differently next time and neither giving up or blaming circumstances.
- Remind yourself and your kids that everyone is a work in progress. Self-confidence is like a muscle that develops with practice and experience.