Whom Do Your Kids Admire? It May Be YOU!

In the recently released "Highlights State of the Kid" report, kids were asked to describe a person they admire and respect. They named their friends first, then teachers and parents. Athletes and celebrities barely registered on the Richter scale. It's reassuring to hear that most children admire and respect people they already know. Role models live closer to home than I would have imagined.

Kids chose friends because they are "honest and kind," "responsible and respectful of me," and "fun and supportive." One child described her friend as someone "who always cares about me."

The five- to twelve-year-olds who responded to the survey frequently cited parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents as role models. Teachers were also high on the list. Kids admired other school staff members, too: bus drivers, swim coaches, guidance counselors, and principals.

When kids veered from the folks they know personally, their choices include such notables as Jane Austen, Mark Twain, Martin Luther King, Jr. and "the writers of the Declaration of Independence." Many children said that they admire and respect President Obama—more than Hannah Montana! But even though heroes may inspire children with examples of what is possible, the first "heroes" that come to mind for them are regular people in their lives.

I see it as a positive sign that kids find role models among friends on the school bus or family members at the dinner table. They are actively observing people who exemplify admirable traits and actions.

Other research supports the conclusion that those closest to home are the most important influences on kids' lives. After all, children interact with peers and relatives every day. Kids can see how friends and family members handle responsibility, fun, and stress, and how teachers and coaches act when there's an emergency or when a lesson doesn't go as planned.

There is legitimate concern that children today don't have enough people to admire. The performers and athletes who populate fan magazines get the most press when they're misbehaving, so we can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that many kids look beyond the flawed and famous to the friendly and familiar.

Our survey shows that despite what we may have thought, kids admire fairness, honesty, and good cheer, which means that YOU may be your child's role model and mentor. That may feel like a lot of responsibility, but remember, kids need a range of people to admire. I loved the comment from the boy who said, "That is a tough question because I respect different people for different things."